ugh.

So I'm married! It's really tough.. I guess I expected something different... something wonderful.. something out of a fairytale. Maybe I SHOULD stop watching all those Disney movies. Marriage is tough work. It takes 100% selflessness 100% of the time.. on BOTH ends. I, myself am not struggling with such said selflessness. I am not a very selfish person (unless it comes to whether to go on Star Tours or Buzz Lightyear first at Disneyland.) Sure, I like nice stuff, I like to pick where to eat and such.. but when it comes to the people I love, I have a tendency to get stepped on.. to give more than I receive. In everyday life that is a redeeming quality.. but in marriage it's the complete and total opposite. I'm letting myself get hurt because I don't receive the kind of attention I give. I think it is partly my fault because I do give a lot.. but I can't help but be sad. So I don't work 40 hours a week.. so I don't bring home much money each month.. that doesn't mean that I don't get tired. That doesn't mean that I don't work my ass off for the better good of my household and my family. When my husband gets home at a reasonable hour, dinner is ready. waiting. His bed is made, his laundry is done, his mail is sorted, his house is a home. The puppy is taken care of, the groceries are purchased, and his precious "man-room" is always left untouched. I thank him every night for letting me further my career rather than work a crappy retail job. I make sure he knows how much I appreciate every single sacrifice he makes for us and our family. Have I ever heard it in return? Have I been able to ask for something to be done for me other than the ocassional dishwasher load? You figure it out. I wouldn't need to have this vent session if the answer was yes.